Nothing is Easy

Oftentimes, I find myself torn between seeking simplicity and appreciating complexity.

The other day, as we were discussing worm strains and methods of experimentation, Dr. Norman remarked that "nothing about this is easy." Perhaps, he was referring to the unfortunate chromosomal arrangement of Alzheimer's genes and GFP markers or the confusing details of what gene each worm needs to be homozygous and heterozygous for. But this week, I think I have begun to foster a certain frustration over the fact that time is going by so quickly and the fear that my experiment will not. As an emc student for the past three years, I've quickly realized that our biggest enemy is time, because time is always at odds with one's curiosity.

With all the time in the world, one could make significantly rapid advancements in their field. One could have time for their obligations and extracurricular activities and their family and their friends and for exploring what makes them curious - all given equal consideration. With all the time in the world, we wouldn't have to make difficult choices like whether or not we should sacrifice sleep to do something we enjoy because other schoolwork occupies the rest of the day. On the contrary also, we certainly should not have to put a stop to something that makes us curious and passionate only because we don't have time. To pursue a topic you're passionate about is a bold move, it's one that requires hard work, perseverance, and a certain openness. I think to really explore something that probably takes your breath away at the depth that we are learning to study and analyze, is to give the entirety of yourself over to that thing. At one point or another you realize that being able to study something you love is being able to remain curious despite obstacles and difficulty of the subject matter. But also at one point or another, it might even be the same point, you realize that time puts certain boundaries on what you can accomplish with respect to that passion. And this, in and of itself, is the most infuriating realization of all.

As much as the march of time feels to be at war with us though, it's certainly not going anywhere so there isn't much good in dwelling upon what we cannot change. Anyway, besides time being a thing of course, this week of experimentation has not appeared lacking in certain obstacles. If you'll recall, I am working with a number of strains that are increasingly complex, from single to double and triple transgenes being phenotypically and genotypically expressed. One of the double cross strains contains both a mutation that causes Alzheimer's characteristics and another mutation that allows the glial cells to glow green. One of the problems with this is that both mutations have been sequenced onto chromosome 1. Granted, they are separated by about 4 million nucleotide base pairs but it is difficult to know how that will affect the worm's genetic stability. Theoretically, they should not affect one another, but there is a trepidation found in the fact that the Alzheimer's gene affects all cell processes while the GFP marker affects neuronal processes. Sequencing both transgenes so close to each other then presents the possibility of inaccurate or jumbled effects. The genes can be partially expressed, or even not at all expressed. Additionally, each mutated strain has several parts to its genomic changes - it has a promoter that targets certain cells for its expression as well as a sequencing change (what it actually does to the genome) and then all of these other components that make sure the new sequence fits in correctly.

So far, the genes have been interacting well with one another. From a phenotypic point of view, both genes are being expressed but now the only aspect in question is whether or not the genes are remaining homozygous throughout several generations of progeny. It is entirely possible that both the Alzheimer's genes and the GFP marker are being expressed by a dominant promoter gene and they are actually heterozygous but we're hoping that is not the case. In theory, hermaphrodites can only reproduce asexually so that means if the original parent organism possessed homozygosity, then the offspring should also.

Working through this genetics mess and trying to grasp an understanding of it has been an interesting experience. As I stated at the beginning of this journal, sometimes it's easy to just quit and try to find something easier but other times, I think to myself - this is really intricate and complicated, but it's also kind of amazing to be able to understand and interact with these wonders of biology. Of course, other factors such as time often play a role in encouraging me towards the first option. It becomes difficult a lot of the time to remain insightful of the beauty found within such complexity. It is at those times when I'm never really sure what to do. I often find myself thinking, what on earth have I gotten myself into? Who am I to think that I can tackle something so small, yet so large? I don't know, maybe I am in way over my head.

And even though that's probably very much the case, I can't help but enjoy those fleeting moments after getting through a long journal article or completing a genetic analysis when I can finally say, "I think I get this." It is true, those moments have been rare to come by, but I also think that's good for me, and anyone working through something that is an enjoyable challenge. I don't think a lack of understanding and then a struggle through something should make you any less valuable. It may definitely feel that way, but I think it also means you're being challenged and when we are challenged, we can grow. I know this all seems like a very cliche realization. But I think for the first time in a long while, it has become clear that while simplicity is convenient and comfortable, complexity is far more rewarding.

It is likely true that I'm not totally cut out for this. I mean, I'm continuously blown away and confounded by the simplest of concepts like water tension or electrons moving to higher energy levels. But then again, nothing is easy. I suppose we'll soon find out if I have what it takes to work through a certain worm-encased complexity.