Why Journal?

Just a quick journal on the reason why I journal...

"I do not sit down at my desk to put into verse something that is already clear in my mind. If it were clear in my mind, I should have no incentive or need to write about it. We do not write in order to be understood; we write in order to understand."

- C. S. Lewis

What I realized after reading this quote was that the exact motive behind probably 100% of my journals has been summed up in three sentences - something I've not been able to effectively explain in the past three years of journal entries.

I write when I am confused. And if I don't write, it's not because I've got everything figured out, it's because I'm not thinking hard enough or deeply enough in order to be confused. And I get that it's a strange reason to write about a topic such as mine but in all honesty, I've found that the best way to help myself understand is to write.

I'm sure, at times, that this may leave my reader confused or unsure of what I am trying to say in which case, I should probably write a follow-up journal to clarify. I'm pretty sure that anyone who reads my journals thinks I'm beyond crazy and this sometimes makes me hesitant to publish entries that are more distraught than others but throughout EMC, I've come to realize that these journals are largely for me. Yes, they definitely provide insight into my thought processes/journey, but when it comes down to it, journaling helps me to understand, and when I understand, I am able to communicate my newfound knowledge to others. But when I don't journal, and ignore confusion, you've got the blind leading the blind. A lot of what we do in this class is a dependent two-fold complex - we seek to understand and to disseminate. But the ability to disseminate can only come from understanding. For me, then, that comprehension comes only from writing and once I have attained understanding, I am capable of communicating to others my thoughts in a way that makes sense.

I journal a lot and it may seem like there is little concrete information that one can take away from my entries but I ask you to remember that I journal when I'm confused and I'm pretty much always confused. The important thing though, is that the more I journal, the more adept I find myself at communicating with others about my project and all of its facets.